Friday, February 24, 2006

Friday Funny

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth, and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

*DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

*DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

*DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

SAFER: What did I do wrong?

SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

*DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

*DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweatpants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect

(I should have used this for my Thursday 13!)


Blogger Virenda said...

I am so excited to be the first to comment because that was ROFL, LMAO funny.

OKAY, do you understand how funny it was? Cause it was funny...

I would like some chocolate by the way.

Can I have some now?

#3,4,5,7,8,9,11. Are funny... FUN-KNEEE!TT(honestly this would have been THE best TT)

1:36 AM  
Blogger srp said...

Here from Michele.
Love these funnies.
I have a mug somewhere that reads:"I'm all out of estrogen, and I've got a gun!" Enough to put the fear into irritating men, women and children.

2:21 AM  
Blogger Linda said...

Cute pictures! I've seen this PMS email a ton of times, but always get a laugh.

Michele sent me!

3:07 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Very funny! I liked the first part the best! Just give me chocolate and all is right with the world!

5:59 AM  
Anonymous Scouser said...

Here from Michele. I saw the Here, have some chocolate post somewhere else about 2 weeks ago, still funny tho.

8:19 AM  
Blogger mommyof4 said...

Very funny!!!:) I got to show this to my hubby you know to give him a lesson in love.!

8:57 AM  
Anonymous Tamara said...

I think i'll forward this to my husband! Happy Friday from Michele's meet and greet!

8:57 AM  
Blogger Viamarie said...

Enjoyed your post. Michele sent me and I will definitely be back.

Have a great weekend!

9:10 AM  
Blogger stacey said...

I think I'll have my husband read these also. Men are so clueless. Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm sorry that you've been sick, I hope you get to feeling better soon! As for your comments:
I pray for my husband's salvation everyday, but there are times when I wish I could just hit him over the head with my bible.
And the puppy situation: We want a puppy really badly, but we got burned once before by a terrible breeder, and we just don't want to go through that again. I think we are going to take our time and do some research on breeders before we buy.

11:11 AM  
Blogger margalit said...

I'm copying this and giving it to my daughter, who has permanent PMS and would love this. She needs to train her upcoming boyfriends. And, please, have some more chocolate!

Here from Michele for the first time but I'll be back. We have a lot in common.

11:18 AM  
Blogger Mama B said...

LOL...thanks for the Friday laugh!!

I can't stand it when my hubby asks me what's for dinner! That's so annoying!

11:50 AM  
Blogger monica said...



12:18 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

LOL, Those were good. I have seen the 13 Things PMS Stands before and it still makes me laugh and so true.

Hugs Suz

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm just making it over from the tt, that was hilarious. my oldest daughter has men issues, i'm going to send this to her!

1:13 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

love it kimmy! it was SO funny.

will also be forwarding it to my husband; he'll get a laugh out of it. :)

hope you're feeling better!

1:49 PM  
Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

Here from Michele today! LOVE these...LOL, LOL, LOL! A good laugh for a Friday...well, three good laughs!

My favorite is the squirrel...!!

1:54 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

I've seen these before, but they are still REALLY funny (and true!) I'm here from Michele's!

1:58 PM  
Blogger used*to*be*me* said...

Great list! And totally applicable for me today. I was coming to say thanks for stopping by earlier.

This time Michele sends me too

2:15 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Love the squirrel pic, how cute!

btw, Michele sent me!

2:17 PM  
Anonymous Last Girl On Earth said...

This is really funny! I'm so glad Michele directed me over here today. You have a fabulous blog! See you soon.

2:20 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Too Funny!!! Bill's just gotta read this!, excuse me while I go look for some chocolate ;)

2:22 PM  
Blogger FrogLegs said...

Hello! I've moved it- and it's private so you can't get to it from my prof-- Here ya go! The "moisture" is still there, LOL!

2:38 PM  
Blogger Veronika said...

That's hilarious!
Glad you're feeling better.

2:41 PM  
Blogger The Mistress of the Dark said...

Thanks for the giggles.

Here via Michele's!

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Year of Style said...

I especially liked the one about dinner... and going out! I'll save the chocolate for dessert. :)

4:41 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

That was priceless! Well said, my dear, well said!

Michele sent me!

4:47 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

I just printed some of that off. Thanks for the tips! Haven't been here since you've changed the look, very nice Kimmy!

4:59 PM  
Blogger Katherine said...

That was great! Thanks for the laughs and I'm glad you're feeling better. Now pass the damn chocolate!

6:01 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Chocolate makes it all better!

9:01 PM  
Anonymous surcie said...

Those suggested responses are so funny--and right on!

(Sent by Michele!)

9:06 PM  
Anonymous netchick said...

OMFG... How funny were those? I'm copying my boyfriend. Thanks! :)

Happy Friday -- Michele sent me!

9:18 PM  
Blogger kontan said...

that was great!!!!

here from michele's still giggling!

9:32 PM  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...


9:50 PM  
Blogger Stacie said...

I am cracking up...that was hilarious! You are too funny. Stacie

9:56 PM  
Blogger Killired said...

loved the 13 PMS!!!! yes, you should have saved it for next week!!!!! here from michele's!

12:05 AM  
Blogger utenzi said...

Michele sent me again, Kimmy. I thought I was going to Rob's but you got there first. So here I am!

I Emailed my girlfriend this list you have of the PMS and "handy guide" statements. She's actually almost totally free of PMS symptoms but will still think it's funny. As for the ultrasafe chocolate option---that's gold as far as she's concerned. Me too, actually. I rarely have less than a few pounds of chocolate on hand.

2:40 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

LOL! These are funny.

I got that PMS list in my email. I was gonna use for a T13 when I did not feel inspired.

11:09 AM  

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