Friday, March 17, 2006

Friday Funny... St. Paddy's Style ;)



Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up drinkin me Irish Whiskey".

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I just found one."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience began to bother him and he went to confession to repent.

"Father, it's 15 years since my last confession, and I've been stealing wood from the lumber yard all those years," he told the priest.

"I understand my son," says the priest "Can you make a Novena?"

O'Toole said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher.

"They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney.

"Where are ye callin' from?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"



You Are Apple Green

You are almost super-humanly upbeat. You have a very positive energy that surrounds you.
And while you are happy go lucky, you're also charmingly assertive.
You get what you want, even if you have to persuade those against you to see things your way.
Reflective and thoughtful, you know yourself well - and you know that you want out of life.


Your Irish Name Is...

Roisin O'Leary


You're 15% Irish

You're not Irish. Not even a wee bit.
Not even on St. Patrick's Day!

34 Comments:

Blogger monica said...

I love that you are almost superhumanly upbeat, I would LOVE to know you! It says a lot you are like that and yet you struggle so much with health and so forth.

You are a great light.

I wish you great health and joy this upcoming weekend my dear.

Cheers,
Kdubs

7:03 AM  
Blogger Susan said...

Happy St. Patrick's Day to you as well! :)

8:20 AM  
Blogger FrogLegs said...

Happy Patty's day to you as well!! :)

9:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a delightful site you have! It is so happy. I will start visiting...

Michele says hi today.

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Paste said...

Good jokes, here from Michele's today.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Carmen said...

Oh, these are a good St. Paddy's laugh! I was 45% Irish and my Irish name was Nuala O'Carroll. I had the same quizes on my site! :)

http://carmenhasgonetoplaid.blogspot.com/

10:07 AM  
Anonymous archshrk said...

Hello, Michele sent me.
Great fun. I think I'll follow your lead and share a couple of these jokes with others. I'll be sure to take the irish quiz too.

10:10 AM  
Blogger Ocean Lady said...

Alright!!! :)

10:28 AM  
Blogger Mama B said...

Thanks for the Friday laughs!!! Happy St. Patricks Day!!

11:02 AM  
Blogger Katherine said...

hee hee - thanks for all the laughs today! Have a great weekend.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Rachelle said...

What a fun post! Even my word verification letters are green on here today.

11:41 AM  
Blogger AlphaGamBran said...

Took your quizzes & blogged them.
My boss made me this scarf for my birfday. It's warm!

Will you send me one of those angelic pics of Jacob with the overalls on? My friend Jim at the office thinks the pic of us from my graduation party is the cutest thing ever (it's my background) and I told him that there are some pics of Jacob that are more precious! :)

Love you! See you soon for Aldi's & Tasty's! I'm sending you some nuts with R&J.

12:24 PM  
Blogger Plumkrazzee said...

My Irish name would be :

Aislin Healy. At least that's what it said. Hope you're feelin' better!

12:31 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Wow! I didn't realize that I did the same quizzes in the same order! I am so sorry! I didn't rip you off I swear! lol

Susan

12:42 PM  
Blogger PJ said...

I love the jokes. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

1:17 PM  
Blogger stacey said...

LOL! Love the jokes. Happy St. Paddy's day to you. I'm off to do those quizzes...

1:23 PM  
Anonymous Ficklechick said...

Good ones! Thanks for the laugh :)

Happy St. Patrick's Day to you too!

1:24 PM  
Blogger Prego said...

Good jokes, Roisin. I liked the parking lot one.

nice to see you again - here via michele's

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Bella~^* said...

HeeHee! Cute blog! Happy St. Paddy's to you!
Here via Michele's

2:08 PM  
Blogger Carl V. said...

Thanks for the visit! Happy St. Patrick's Day to you as well. LOVE the jokes, I'm cracking up!

2:15 PM  
Blogger TNChick said...

:)

I'm apple green, too. I'm only 20% irish and my name is Zoe Guinness according to your quiz, earlier on someone els'es I was Fiona! LOL

2:22 PM  
Anonymous Jules said...

I absolutely LOVE your blog theme!! It's soooooo fun!!! Here from Carl's SSD.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Lazy Daisy said...

Whoa girlfriend are you Irish today or what? Your posts are so feastive! Happy St. Patrick's Day. Michele sent me today.

4:30 PM  
Anonymous colleen said...

I'm so confident in my Irishness that I wore went out wearing purple!

Love the scrabble cat! Thanks for the laugh and for thinking of me.

O'Colleen

PS can I play scrabble with your spam code letters below?

4:37 PM  
Blogger AlphaGamBran said...

you like my scary peeling arm.
it's nasty, huh?
picture this: yesterday that was my forehead. Seriously, in plain view of everyone. I've had to forego the gym for the last few days as to not flick skin at them on the machines. grossness...i got the pale genes.

4:40 PM  
Blogger jennypenny said...

Lol i love your jokes! Thanks for the laughs. Here today from Micheles to meet and greet

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Im Chele In [dot] LA said...

ahhhhhhhh green beer....
Over from the other Michele's

5:24 PM  
Blogger Marv said...

Those are funny Kimmy's!!! thanks for sharing!
I am teal green and my irish name is Jade Martin?? dang!!!
and not even a wee bit Irish!! LOL!!!

6:44 PM  
Blogger Virenda said...

Thanks for the laughs Kimmy, I can always use a good laugh.

I'm going to go take the quiz's now, since I'm such a sucker for a quiz.

Have a good night and take it easy. You should go watch your favorite movie and eat your favorite snack. It always makes me feel better. ~wink~

11:59 PM  
Blogger Virenda said...

I'm Teal...

"You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.
Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.
While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.
Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have."

12:01 AM  
Blogger rashbre said...

I tried that Irish test too and came out, to my surprise, as 30% Irish. It said this was quite high.Probably a St Patrick's day phenomenon.

And Hi - Michele sent me!

rashbre

7:57 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

I love them, Kimmy. A good laugh this morning.

I was sick yesterday and slept most of the day away. That is why I didn't come by yesterday.

Have a great weekend.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Pearl said...

Heh. Those are fun. A couple I haven't heard.
I'm 50% Irish by blogthings but every ancestor I know of came through there.

5:55 PM  
Anonymous cassie-b said...

My Irish name - Nicola O'Mahony.

Happy Saint Patrick's day 2007! It's time to start getting ready.

11:06 AM  

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