Friday, March 03, 2006

Thank You! (Enjoy a Friday Funny)

(Blogger was so crazy Thursday. I tried to get around to visit, but the pages wouldn't load and the few that did I couldn't comment. It seems to be working right now, but I'm not feeling well enough to stay on-line. So I'm sorry I didn't get to you.)

You've made me cry. Again. The past few days have been very emotional for me. You know those days. When you just feel sorry for you. And I think blogging about "me" really opened the flood gate.

It's so easy for me to pretend that I'm okay. I don't want people to worry or know how "bad" it really is or think I'm a whiner. So "okay" and "fine" is how I answer the, "How are you?" question.

To answer a few questions that you've asked:

No, we're not on food stamps. Get this... I'm $60 over the limit. I receive $60 too much a YEAR to qualify for ANY help. No food stamps. No help with housing. No help with child care costs. Jacob is now receiving reduced lunch at school. I "make" $19 a YEAR too much for free lunch. Isn't that crazy? Jacob is on the states children insurance, but I pay $35 a month.

I'm on Medicare now. Yup. Just like my grandma. I was on Medicaid, too, but since the changes with Medicare I'm no longer eligible. Plus, when I was on Medicaid I was on the "Spend Down" program. Which meant, again, I made too much money. WHERE IS ALL THIS MONEY I HAVE? I had to meet a MONTHLY deductible of $525 before Medicaid would pick up the tab. $525 a MONTH. Not a year. My prescriptions alone were over $400... and I can't go without them. Ya know... people are on disability for a reason. And it's not because the money's great or the road is easy!

It's been extremely difficult. I've been on disability for almost four years. It's been a struggle every single day. And before that it was no picnic. I tried so hard not to miss work, but some days I had no choice. The pain was so intense I had to call in. I would be off work for months at a time recovering from surgery after surgery. (I had 13 operations from 1999 to 2002).

My parents have helped so much. They were my "paycheck" for months during surgeries and before I was approved for disability. But now... Mom's been off work for 6 months... with no pay. Daddy just retired from the military in January and is bringing home half the income he was before. Plus they have to pay for Mom's insurance which is $1200 a month. So it's not so easy for them right now either.

It's been hard. But I have so much faith. I know God will take care of me. He has every single day of my life and hasn't let me down. And I know he won't.

Thanks to all of you for your kind words and encouragement and advice. You have truly touched my heart. May God bless you and keep you.

I will post about my illnesses. It's going to be very lengthy and emotional (for me). Can you tell I'm avoiding?

Friday Funny

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their sessions, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would move to Italy and secretly have the child. If she would raise the child he would pay child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the child was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and write spaghetti on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today."
"Oh, just give it to me, and I will explain it later," he said.
The wife did it and watched her husband read the card, turn white and faint. On the card was written:
Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs and one without.


Blogger mommyof4 said...

Since I am fairly new here may I ask what is your disiabilty? I have Fibromyalgia and TMJ Disorder. I also suffer from bipolar. I am trying to get SSI rigth now and they are giving me such a hard time. I would live to work but I am to much pain everyday. So I was just wondering what you are going through ?

10:11 PM  
Blogger monica said...

:( I wish I could pour you a hot cup of tea my sweet friend. It does work out. It just does. Sniff sniff.

I will keep praying for you.


10:46 PM  
Blogger Plumkrazzee said...


When I was pregnant with Simon, we were in DIRE straits. I applied for Medicaid, thinking it was a sure bet....we made $52 too much every month. It's insane.

I am here to tell you, though, that yes.....God is faithful. My life is a testament to that, and yours will be too. His eye is on the sparrow, and He watches over you! Hugs, Plum

11:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad that we could help you in any way even if it is just venting.

The bad thing is that so many people do abuse the system it makes it hard for those who truly need help.

It makes me sick to think of the jerks who don't deserve food stamps when there are people like you guys out there struggling to get by.

I have been praying for you.

You are really one of the sweetest bloggers I know!

12:48 AM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Back when I was a single mom, people would tease me that they would have "It will all work out" written on my tombstone when I died. I seemed to use it as my mantra. I didn't always feel it on the inside, but if I kept saying it, I figured it would come true. I guess it did. Sometimes I am not satisfied with my life, either, but those things pass and all in all it's okay. I don't mean to minimize all that you are going through, I just mean that even when you don't feel it on the inside, you keep telling yourself that God is looking out for you and he would never let you fail. He will provide. It will work out.

1:21 AM  
Blogger Virenda said...

I love hearing about your life Kimmy because I hope upon hope that talking about it makes it better, at least for a moment. Things will get better, you just stay strong.

Yes I can tell your avoiding it and your scaring me.

Have a good night and take care of yourself.

(I know what the financial thing is like, at least as a child I did. As an adult, well my in-laws ended up being our pay check for awhile. Things are better now. I wish you the best.)

1:57 AM  
Blogger FrogLegs said...


8:43 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

Post away. If that's what makes you feel better. Keeping you in my thought Kimmy.

10:32 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Hugs to you. Th system sucks! Jason "makes too much" too for us to quailify for food stamps. Yeah, that sixty dollars should be enough for food for the whole year? Are they nuts! I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this, and while I am lucky to not have the insurance and medical problems, I know too well about the financail dificulties.

10:36 AM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Oh, hang in there. You are such a good person and I do believe things will get better. I enjoyed the funny, too, especially because I'm Italian. I'm going to email it to all my relatives.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Good for you for not giving up hope in these trying times. You're right, God will provide...

btw, great friday funny! Laughter is good medicine...

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Chrissie said...

Hi Kimmie,
I'm fairly new to your site. When I read todays post I had to see what you were referring too - so I read Wednesdays post. I totally feel for you because I essentially am living the same way and it sucks! I know what it is like not to have stamp money, gas money, all that stuff. (I do work but don't make alot and am supporting a girl on my own (no child support)).
Your angel will come!
I had an angel recently... I was awarded an all expense paid trip to Disney for my daughter and I - beginning this Tuesday (even food included). I'm sure you totally know how I'm going to be feeling all next week - Relieved for once to have fun and no worry!
I wish you an angel as well!
Maybe an angel from Blog world will help you out! I've always thought that if every person that has money would send every person that doesn't just one dollar then everybody would be in good shape!
I wish you the best!

12:47 PM  
Blogger Suz said...

Bigs Hugs ... When I was a single mom and you know I have Lupus, a lot of things that I applied for got turned down also cause they said i got too much child support for the older 2. Thank goodness they aloud my littleman to be on medicaid, though they wouldnt give me any insurance.

Just reading your post I know that if you lived close by we would be great friends.

LOL @ the joke.

Hugs Suz

1:16 PM  
Blogger The Complimenting Commenter said...

Those situations are so tough. Just being over the limit is horrible. I hope some breaks go your way, because you deserve them. Great spaghetti story too!

1:18 PM  
Blogger Marv said...

bless your heart!!!!! sorry to hear of all the trouble you have!!!! 13 surgeries??? wow!!!!
THanks for the great spaghetti joke!!! have a great weekend

10:20 PM  
Blogger Marv said...

bless your heart!!!!! sorry to hear of all the trouble you have!!!! 13 surgeries??? wow!!!!
THanks for the great spaghetti joke!!! have a great weekend

10:20 PM  
Blogger Marv said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:22 PM  
Anonymous Kentucky Girl said...

Aww, hun...if there is anything at all that I can help with, you just let me know. *hugs to you and yours*

3:11 AM  
Blogger Veronika said...

Great Spaghetti joke!
Thank you for giving us the insight. The system is crazy. I get so mad when I see people using food stamps to buy candy and junk foods when there are people who desperately need food stamps, yet can't get it.
I'm looking forward to reading about your illness, but take your time. I'm sure it's going to be emotional.
You've got a great attitude! I know things are going to work out.

10:48 AM  
Blogger stacey said...

I'm so sorry about what you're going through. My best friend is in a similar situation, she's not disabled, but she's a single mom who constantly tries to make ends meet for her son and herself. I know how hard it is for her, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. You seem like such a sweet person! You are right about God, he loves you so much and He will watch over you. I'm confident everything will work out for the best. I'll definitely pray for you and your family.
Hugs, Stacey

4:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are in my thoughts.

Take care.

11:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you - keep strong! We're sending you lots of positive energy over here. *hugs*


8:47 AM  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

Love your spaghetti joke - especially since we just had our spaghetti fund raiser last night... it makes it even funnier - ok I must be tired!!

You are not alone in your struggle. Unfortunately, there are lots of women in your spot. I think we all know a few personally. I just wish I could do more. You are in my thoughts and prayers..

10:36 AM  

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