Saturday, July 22, 2006

The Answer Is No

I've posted more this week than I have in an entire month. I've visited blogs and even participated in Thursday 13. It felt wonderful! I've missed it so much. I've missed leaving silly comments (and receiving them :p). I've missed my friends. Being back in the blog world has been so nice. But it's come to an end once again.

Many of you've commented on my three (in a row) posts. Naturally you assumed I was feeling better. And I was. But not anymore. And this is one problem Blogger can't be blamed for!

I've been having a lot of increased back and shoulder pain over the past few weeks. Sunday I started experiencing more pain in my back. I couldn't stand. I couldn't sit. I couldn't walk it out. I've had a herniated disk for years (since '99). I also have pieces of an old deteriorated LP shunt floating in my spinal column (the one that was in for almost 9 years... and when the surgeon tried to remove it pieces of it shot up in the spinal fluid.) So who knows what's to blame. I've also been sitting for 4 years straight.

The big problem started a few days ago. My feet and hands started swelling again. But not like before. The right side is worse. The symptoms change throughout the day, but for the most part of the day it's bad.

I have no feeling in the last four toes or on the top of my right foot. I can't bend my toes or even my feet. My hands are the same way. Two nights ago I couldn't sleep. It was 2 in the morning. All of a sudden I couldn't feel my feet and it felt like I was walking with tree trunks. I tried to grab for the nearest chair, but I couldn't get it. My depth perception was off. I was dizzy and my gait was unsteady. I grabbed a pen and paper to write down the symptoms, but I couldn't grip the pen to use it. What I was able to write I had to move my entire arm to write with and not my hand.

The symptoms were better the next morning, but still present. They gradually worsened throughout the day. I dropped things or couldn't even grasp them to begin with. I dropped a glass of water. It's like it slipped right through my fingers. When I walked to the other side of the coffee table I wacked my right foot really hard on the table leg (three inches+ of thick wood). I didn't even feel it, but could see the indentation in the swelling of my foot.

Later that day I started noticing problems with my vision. I was having black areas (not spots) in my vision. My eyes weren't adjusting to light/dark as quickly as normal... and I'm talking 20 minute intervals here! The swelling continued in my hands and feet and with the same symptoms as the night before. But I started having problems with my right arm. It was numb and felt weightless yet I could feel deep within my arm. It was strange! I also started having more and more difficulty concentrating. I just felt blank or empty. The dizziness was worse, but the depth perception was better.

I see my neurosurgeon Tuesday. The egotistical one that "knows" more about what I'm feeling going through than I do. Oh gosh. How I wish I were going to see Dr. Luciano. I trust him and believe him. And he believes me. I hate this other doctor and don't feel comfortable with him. But there's no way I could handle the drive to go to Dr. Luciano. And there's no way I could handle the "pressure" of flying. My head feels like it's about to explode as it is... added pressure wouldn't be my friend!

I know I'm leaving you with more questions than answers. I can't write any more right now. I will let you know how I'm doing so you don't worry. I can't guarantee more than a single word depending on my symptoms, but I know after this you'll worry. If you don't hear from me don't panic. I'll have my friend Brandi post about the doctor's visit if I'm unable to.

Let's pray it's just that stupid medicine and not my pseudotumor cerebri or arnold chiari malformation or complications following the greater occipital neurectomy I just had. Let's pray! THANK YOU!

I leave you with this video of the father/son triathlon team, Dick and Rick Hoyt, to the song "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. (Visit them at Team Hoyt)

15 Comments:

Blogger Shelli said...

I am praying. Please, please take it easy. I miss you and I want you to come back as soon as possible. You are right, though, I will worry.

11:22 PM  
Blogger Froggie said...

I'm praying for you to feel better soon.

~ Froggie

12:37 AM  
Blogger Libragirl said...

I hope you feel better. I hope everything is ok. We miss you but it's more important for you to be ok.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

Not nice symptoms. Have you ever had an MRI done? Hope you're feeling better soon.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Chana said...

forgive me for i was one of the first to get all so excited...i hope i didn't place pressure on you to post and overtired you...

i feel sad for your suffering. i so wish you weren't. i wish so much...i will wait to hear from you. i won't freak out. don't forget you and Jacob are in my heart and thoughts. pls take care. pls. love you.

12:15 PM  
Blogger It's a FLIP-FLOP World said...

Kimmy, you know that everyone is thinking about you and always do. I look and look for your blogs and I always tell you that. I am so blessed to see you blog today and I will pray that this suffering you are going through will go away!! You know that someday it will go away and you can look forward to that!! It is awful that some people have to suffer here on earth. We know as Christians that our suffering is only temporary here on earth though!! Please take care of yourself. Tell Brandi we will all watch for her blogs for you!! Praying for you...Sandy

3:06 PM  
Blogger Reverberate58 said...

Prayers for you Kimmy. Just lots of prayers for God to take this pain away from you!

8:27 PM  
Anonymous Nyssa said...

Good luck Kimmy. Hope it passes soon. :)

12:34 AM  
Blogger novaks8 said...

Oh Kimmy, I'm sorry.
I pray for you on a regular basis.

With all the turmoil and sadness in my life right now, I always try to remember that I at least have my health and my children's health.

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to suffer day after day.

Love you girl!

6:52 AM  
Blogger TC said...

Just have to comment on that video. It is amazing. I saw it yesterday for the first time and it left me in a puddle of tears.

I'm praying for you to feel better soon.

12:04 PM  
Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

Well, I'm still here checking in on you and will continue to do so. You just post something when you can Kimmy.

Thoughts are with you girl....

5:18 PM  
Blogger Pink Chihuahua Princess said...

Thank you for taking the time to update us. We'll be praying for you!

5:42 PM  
Anonymous zingtrial said...

Hi! Hope you are feeling rested.you are a brave person.Wish you all the best

8:15 PM  
Blogger Viamarie said...

My prayers are with you too. Hope everthing turns out well after your visit with the doctor.

Take Care & God Bless You Always!

Btw, this video sure is very touching. It brought tears to my eyes.

10:28 PM  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...

Feel better my friend.
LBC

11:21 AM  

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