Monday, August 28, 2006

Oh, Waiter!

I was getting ready to take the last bite of my Blackened Chicken Pasta. I was saving half for Jacob. (It's his favorite. He was busy cheering on his favorite high school football team during the first home town rival game of the season. He's attened EVERY SINGLE football game... home and away... since 1st grade, but that's another story for another time. I have bigger news to share :p) Where was I? Oh, yeah. I was getting ready to receive the "Mother of the Year" award for saving half my dinner for my son. (And yes. I was still hungry.) :)

I picked up two pieces of pasta with my fork. As I lifted the fork I noticed something black. I moved the pasta around and noticed it was not only BLACK, but CURLY!!!!!!!!!! I threw my fork down and covered my mouth with both hands. I almost lost it all right there in my pasta dish.

My friend tried to calm me by saying such things as, "OHIMIGOSH! THAT'S A PUBE!" and "(*gasp*) Somebody had there hands down their pants." I almost smacked her. I would have if I had three hands, but unfortunately both of mine were busy keeping my (already eaten) dinner down.

I tried to get our waitress' attention, but she was busy. Of all times! The entire night she'd been so attentive and had anticipated our needs without us having to ask. But I couldn't wait for her any longer with a plate 'o penne and pubes in front of me.

I grabbed the manager who happened to walk past. I whispered to him that I had a problem with my meal. I explained what I found, and his eyes almost popped out of his head. He quickly removed my plate and apologized profusely. He began stumbling over his words as he tried to justify it to himself. "They all wear hair nets." "We have strict policies." Then he said, "I don't know how this could have happened..." I put my hand up motioning for him to stop, and at the same time we both said, "I don't wanna know."

He asked me if I'd like anything else, but took the look on my face as, "Uh,no". Just then our waitress came over with a worried look on her face not knowing what happened and fearful I was upset. She asked if I still wanted the BBQ buffalo wings I ordered to take home. Yes. (Again... for Jacob. He loves them!)

Jennifer finished her meal as we both tried to come up with "logical reasons". Our waitress rushed back to the table and apologized. She looked horrified and disgusted. I felt so bad for her. She was mortified! So I told her what we'd been talking about, and she chimed in.

We all started laughing about it. I was feeling better. Especially when she told me the manager was taking care of everything. Everything! Jennifer's appetizer, both meals, drinks (coke and water... but still!), Jacob's wings and DESSERTS! The waitress leaned in, grabbed my arm and said, "They don't make them here." Okay! I'll take three! ;)

Was it worth it? No.Way! But it will sure be a story I'll remember. (Well, as long as somebody reminds me!)

Darn. It would be so much more funny if it had happened to somebody else ;)


Anonymous hrishi said...

I love you, really make people smile with your blog-it is one of the most cheerful blogs I have ever seen, and I hope you keep it that way, and stay that way too...KEEP SMILING.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Norma said...

Did you ever go back?

My MM is up.

8:01 PM  
Blogger The Green Family said...

Oh no! Ewwww! first you really had me craving some chicken pasta...then I read on and alas...I have lost my appetite. What a funny story. Glad your meals were on the house.


11:22 PM  
Blogger LadyBugCrossing said...


9:01 AM  
Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

Uggghhh Kimmy...dang, and I was all set to eat me some Cocoa pebbles this mornin'. Appreciate that!!

Hope you're feeling well, buddy!

9:23 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

OK, that's the grossest thing I've heard in a long time. You win! Hands down!

1:24 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

that is SO grosss. i'm sorry that happened to you! that turned my stomach just hearing about it. any chance you'll tell us what restaurant it is?

2:00 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I hate it when that happens! A waitress coworker of mine way back in the day had the horror of serving a plate of jerk ribs to a customer who later found out the thing he was chewing unsuccessfully was a BAND-AID.

We were all quite disgusted. All of us.

2:09 PM  
Blogger Courtney said...

OMG, that is nasty. I'm glad they were just as horrified about it as you were though, and that they did something about it. And that is definitely a situation that would be funny if it hadn't happened to you.

2:32 PM  
Blogger stacey said...

I feel your pain. My family and I went through a drive-thru of a pretty popular restaurant here in our town, and I got not one, but TWO surprises with my meal. I had a curly black pube not only in my hamburger, but also in my fries.
Needless to say, we haven't eaten there since.
I don't know if I would have been able to stifle the vom as well as you seem to have.
At least you got a free meal, though!

3:49 PM  
Blogger srp said...

Here from Michele.
Glad they cancelled the bill for your food. They should give you a years supply of dinners... but wait, you probably don't want to go back.

4:54 PM  
Blogger ...jus me said...

Oh Kimmie...that's awful! I had a milkshake one time and the straw got clogged. When I opened the lid there was a big ole fly! I took it back up to the window and she made the mistake of getting snotty to me..."what do you want me to do about it?" Well, I was young and kinda had a bit of a temper, but don't tell anyone! I made sure she got the milkshake back, but not exactly the way she had in mind!
I think you did a wonderful job at keeping your food down and handling the situation too!

Hey, just wanted to let you know, I am back on diamox. Couldn't stand the pain anymore. I just called the good ole nuerologist and he is calling in a new prescription for me also. He was pretty decent since I went against his orders, sometimes I think we know our bodies better than they do!

Hope you are feeling better! Hugs!

9:01 PM  
Blogger Kim said...


Thanks a lot Kimmy...I just ate lunch! If that had happened to me, I don't think I'd have been so calm...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

1:57 PM  
Blogger Chana said...

oh hon that is awful...yuck...i would have gagged and thrown up right there...i can say that for i have been close..i have found pet hairs in houses that pets live,bugs in the not-so-clean greens in salads's disgusting..i'm terrified of eating anything and if you could see my hips you never figure how come i don't look it, lol..

i'm glad he took care of the bill, but at what cost to you really, ...

love you and Jacob tons, love you very much, so happy you got out to dinner...i keep you busy if we lived you want to move here?

9:47 PM  
Blogger FrogLegs said...

iCK! The worst thing I found was part of the metal curly bristle thingie thay they used to scrub their chickens (at my restaurant.) They tried to make me happy- but I never went back there, and gave the food to the friend who was with me. And what you found.. good grief- I would have lost it all. ick.

9:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hair is still gross but seriously, my husband has little black chest hairs that look JUST LIKE pubes!

They gross me out.

And he sheds like a freaking dog!

So don't assume the worst.

But still....YUCK.

4:42 PM  
Blogger Shelli said...

Makes me gag. Yuck.

8:34 PM  
Blogger Lynda said...

That has happened to me before too. With an appetizer. Not a pube though. (But it could have just been someone with really curly hair, right?)

I won't tell you what my husband said, because your lunch will come up again. But I complained, and we got the appetizer for free. So, we left a good tip. I mean, the waiter didn't prepare the meal!

12:34 PM  

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